Since being out here I've learned to rely on the Lord a lot and in that I've learned to pray expectantly. A lot of the time we pray with doubt in mind. We doubt whether or not the Lord can actually do what we are asking, or we pray to because we think it will sound good. So bogus of us. Upon reflection of the times that I have prayed sincerely to the Lord asking him for things with out regard to what I was really asking for, but knowing that in some way he would provide, every time he has provided; not always in the the ways that I would have chosen for him too, which could explain my delayed appreciation or reaction, but none the less every one of the prayers have been answered and in awe inspiring ways...that have simply made me sit in awe of him and the way he moves in our lives and the world. literally when these things dawned on me I sat in awe, and could think of nothing better to do than thank and praise him.
I guess I'll give you an example of this...
The first time I prayed to the Lord out loud, this last year, first semester after the first GAL bible study, I poured everything out to him. everything. and essentially begged for a relationship with him because I desperately wanted to change the way I thought about things and the emotions I let control my life. I remember asking him to help keep me always desiring him and seeking him. I had not thought about that until a few days ago. I had been getting so, so busy here and let myself go two days with out having a solid quite time with the him. I felt like crap. I had been flying high literally 3 days prior. all it took was 2 days without my seeking him out to feel like that happiness he had been supplying me with, stripped from my being. And this isn't the first time this has happened, thinking back on it, every time I have avoided quite times with the Lord, those times have been the ones when I've felt most drained, been rude and irritable, and overall just not as good as I would normally be. To put it plainly, every time I avoid the Lord or just don't seek time with him, I feel incredibly burdened by the world and things around me.
As soon as I sought the Lord out in his word and in prayer, I felt as restored as I had been 3 days prior. It was truly humbling. My happiness and ease of life rests in my hands to the extent that to have it I must choose to seek the Lord and desire him, but they are truly contingent upon the Lord. I can not make my own happiness or force myself through will power to be the person that I get to be when I seek the Lord.
So Ask of the Lord, and don't hold back with those request. I am confident that he will provide for you exactly what you're needing.
Mark 11: 22-24
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this
mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes
that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you
ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
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